We all make choices.  Every day, all day.  Some blatantly, others subconsciously.  Some in hopes for the best, while others its the lesser of two evils.  Every once in a while we make choices by accident, without realizing we’ve made a choice at all.

In the last 2 years I have made a dedicated choice to be in this relationship.  To work towards goals together.  To work through any issues and disagreements we may have.  I have made this choice knowingly.  In making this choice repeatedly over the last 2 years I unknowingly allowed you to continue in your behavior with the expectation that I would work through it, get over it and move on.  I have allowed you to be inconsiderate, rude and disrespectful.  The question is, are you even aware of it?

The fact that you consistently start arguments over petty things that sometimes escalate to large things is an insult to me.  Because you always expect me to be the bigger person, the calm, rational one. The one to calm you down and “give in” so to speak.

I said all I could say.  And you cant even have the courtesy to read it, or you read it but don’t want me to know you did.  Either way, disrespectful and inconsiderate.  I said all I could say and now, 4 days later, you still have nothing to say.  Haven’t bothered to pick up your things, call, message, nothing.  Rude.  You know how I feel about you leaving when we argue to begin with, but to simply ignore me and refuse to end this, one way or another, is disrespectful.

What do you think happens now?  How do you see this playing out exactly?  Because there’s maybe 1 or 2 excuses I would listen to about why you cant be bothered to talk to me these last 4 days.  Even then, maybe not.  At what point did it become acceptable for you to treat me this way? Do you think because you weren’t physically abusing me it was ok?  Sorry,  mental and emotional abuse do exist and you have gotten pretty good at it over the last 2 years.

I cant help but wonder if you haven’t been picking so many insignificant fights lately in an effort to push me away.  Make me leave you so you’re not the bad guy.  What else am I supposed to think?  If that’s the case, man up and walk.  If its not, then at some point you either gain enough self control to be adult about it or this is never going to work, no matter how dedicated I am.

At this point I’m not sure if I want you to come back or stay gone.  The only thing I do know is I cant stay in limbo like this.  Its not fair that you have decided to effectively hold me hostage at this point.  And of course, in your mind, yes I am fully capable of reaching out to you, but why should I have to?!  You were the one who packed half his shit and left. I’m not the one who decided to have an attitude and yet again ruin a birthday.  I’m not the one hiding out, avoiding the situation.  Again, I said what I have to say.  You will either man up and tow the line or man up and walk away.  The choice is yours.  Or is it?

Why do I always have to be the one to fix shit?!  There’s 2 of us, we are both adults….