Rewind: He checks my phone at night when I’m asleep occasionally. What he’s looking for, no clue. Im open about anything and everything with just about anyone so I never have anything to hide anyways. I know hes done it before because I’ve seen him do it and let it go and hes left my phone on conversations so that I know hes seen them.
Fast forward to last night. He was standing at the end of the bed going through my phone….again. I rolled over and let it go because like I said, I’ve got nothing to hide. This morning I get up and he’s left it on a conversation a friend and I had yesterday via facebook. And he left a text message box open to create a new conversation with my ex in N.C.
Now..background…Rob and I have been friends for over 10 years. We met through an ex of mine. He’s a smoker, drinker, dedicated single father and a workaholic at a company he owns and runs. He lives in Largo, across the state. We’ve never dated, or been romantically involved nor will we ever be. We chit chat once in a while here n there. Usually B.S. about kids and work and what not. Said conversation from yesterday happened because he posted a video on his page that popped on my timeline that I got curious about. You see so much fake crap online these days but this one actually listed names and such. So, I googled it. And popped up with loads of info. So, I posted the articles as comments to his post so he got the full story in the video he had posted. Then I hit him up apologizing for blasting his comments..conversation consisted of him having a couple beers and playing with his dogs and looking to replace his work van that’s slowly falling apart pieces at a time.
The ex in N.C. and I havent talked in months. I cant tell you the last time. It was before he had the baby a few months ago. When the baby was born I commented on the pics but that was pretty much the last communication I had.
Back to this morning. I usually don’t even address the issue or bother with it since, again, I have nothing to hide. But the more I thought about it the more it bothered me. Why does he feel the need to go through my phone? What does he think I’m doing? Why does he even feel the need to look at who I may or may not be talking to? So of course typically what they say is, if they’re accusing you it’s because of their own guilt. I know he talks to other people or rather, women to be exact. The fact hat he’s so secretive and locks his phone religiously tells me that. The fact that I saw part of a message of him telling someone morning babe, and it wasnt me since he was with me, tells me that. Im just the trusting idiot in this scenario is all.
So..I call him out on it this morning. He has the balls to throw it back at me like I’m doing something wrong talking to my ex, (from N.C. who just had baby with his new gf)which I havent done in months, so its okay for him to and so he doesn’t have to keep his phone on silent anymore. Since its okay for me then its okay for him. Then he says he talks to his exes and they all know about us but still want to see him when they can. His exact words: “I tell them I am in a relationship and they don’t care they still want to talk to me and even see me if its possible.” Does he not understand what he just said? And he thinks I shouldnt be mad? Really? You just told me that you still talk to women who want you and leave all those doors open, after telling me you’ve cheated in the past and you love me and want only me, but you’re still talking to other women…leaving those avenues open..Just in case…..and Im supposed to be okay with that?! You’re some kinda special.
I have ignored the fact that over the last 10 months you have continually talked with other women. I have ignored a lot of things. I have taken you at your word, trusted you repeatedly and given you everything and yet, you’re still holding doors open for other women as if you have them as a back up. And you want to justify it because once in a blue moon I may or may not have a conversation with someone of the male persuasion that you havent met? Yeah ok.
My conversations are simple innocent day to day crap. You’re conversations more then likely consist of constant flirting and sexual innuendo with the chance that you might be open to something happening with them. Which is the only reason they are still talking to you at this point. Because by talking to them you’re giving them the impression that theres an opportunity there.
Well, I’m done being tolerant and ignorant. You want this to work you’re going to have to commit completely. Which means you are going to have to give up all your back up plans. Im done competing. Im done ignoring the fact that youre always texting other women. Im done. You’re either going to step up or step off.