, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Ok so…I need to get this crap out of my head so I can deal with it.

Lets start with the work issues first since they’re the easiest I think.

My “Leasing Agent” is back from brain surgery and even worse than he was before it seems.  Before he was cordial and inviting, was easy to lease apartments.  While on medications waiting for surgery he was lackadaisical, tired and like a lump.  So, I tried to field anyone coming in to avoid the drone.  During surgery and his down time, the 2 months of it, I had temps non stop to help.  So, I took on all the responsibilities myself letting the temps help where they could without screwing something up.  After surgery, return to work and he’s gone through a few changes.  When he first got back he was having relationship issues.  Was very subdued and quiet.  Looked exhausted and acted so.  So I was still covering everything.  He went through the break up and is now focused on his parents and daughter.  But hes volatile now.  Mood changes in a flash.  His sarcasm and attempts at being silly are far-fetched and tend to annoy everyone rather than amuse them.  At least hes attempting humor at this point.  It’s still hard to watch him with prospects as every time he talks to someone its different.  And he takes FOREVER!  Give them the info and get on with it.  It not like they’re buying a car…..theres no wheeling and dealing here.  Prices and amenities are what they are.  He still can’t read the Vacancy Report, isn’t doing anything other than emails and leasing, but our wonderful boss decided to call him my Assistant Manager on speaker phone a couple of weeks ago and oh my..his head swelled.  Another attitude change.  Lord help me.  He wants to help but he cant do most of the basic things without screwing it up so I’m not even attempting to let him do the complicated stuff.  Leaving me still responsible.

I was having personal issues yesterday and left work at 3:30 to go get my daughter from school and took her to get her nails done while I got a pedicure to calm down.  I told him I would be back.  I drove back in to get my purse from my desk at 5:40 and he was gone.  Office was locked and phones were forwarded.  YOU CANT DO THAT on a weekday!!  On a Sunday, Sure….close early, its dead.  But on a week day we may close 5 minutes early but never that early.  That’s not helping, that’s getting my ass in hot water.  I can’t trust you to run the office properly while I take an hour or so??  What the hell?!!

He has little knowledge of computers, can’t read the required reports, doesn’t understand half the processes and doesnt care to learn or memorize them.  I refuse to let him do a lease signing if I can help it because even after all this time he doesnt know them well enough to explain them properly.  I’ve done dozens of them in front of him and he still has no clue.  When he’s giving info to someone he holds the paper in front of him reading off the info as if he doesnt know whats on the page.  Looks bad!  Turn the paper around towards the person and go down the list.  You should know that piece of paper by heart now. He doesnt.  It’s like he has to refresh his memory every morning.  Emails…he replies once in the morning and never looks again it seems, unless I tell him, leads in the email to respond to.  I got in this morning there were like 9 leads sitting there from yesterday afternoon I had to handle.  If he cant even handle that simple stuff how am I ever going to teach him anything else?  He’s a sweet guy and all but….

I need some help here.  Some reliable, intelligent, qualified help.  The problem is that the property is now under contract and staff changes are highly unlikely at this point.  While for sale it was difficult enough to get someone willing, but now?  Nope..There is one temp who is awesome and I’ve referred her to corporate.  If she actually comes in though it would be for the other property, not mine.  Closing is initially set for July 31st.  So, I am already looking at at least 2 1/2 more months of doing everything and monitoring him so as to not chase off possible residents.

The boss…is losing his shit.  Now that the contracts are signed and its a done deal.  Due diligence and inspections are starting.  He’s in full blown panic mode.  His personal life leaves him lonely so he pesters his employees all night.  Called me at 8:30 the other night out of the blue asking about work but really he was lonely and just wanted someone to talk to. I feel for him.  He is a victim of his own making though.  You can’t treat people like shit and expect them to like you or want to deal with you.

I’ve almost gotten used to the 6 day weeks and constant workload now.  But I’m finding myself resentful that I have to do so much since I can count so little on my ” assistant manager” for help.  Im very frustrated and tired.

My daughter.

The last 2 nights have been bad.  The last few months havent been great either.  Shes been posting on Facebook about how she’s out of school, quit, and that shes just going to make herself happy regardless.  She sleeps all day, up all night chatting and playing video games.  If I ask her about school she gets an instant attitude.  Night before last, after I asked her about school she posted this:

“Imma just start doing stuff for ME. That will benefit ME. What YOU want for me isn’t what I want. I know what I want. Let me find myself. Don’t push me to be someone I’m not. Most definitely don’t make me be someone I don’t wanna be. If you have a problem with it there’s the door 👉”

That was the 3rd pissy post aimed at me this week.  If you count the one on Monday night about how “Now your happiness comes before ours” which caused a huge row.  Needless to say I was beyond control and my temper was off the charts.  That set me off.  I went into her room after having just left 5 minutes previous, yanked her by her hair up out of the bed and told her…”theres the door..get the fuck out.”  She threatened that if I ever laid a hand on her again she’d hit me and slammed out the door.  This led into troubles for me and my “boyfriend” later, but lets just focus on her for now.  She disappears out the door and she’s calling friends, I call her dad.  Tell him I didn’t care he better find a way to come get her.  She was not going to tell me what she was and wasnt doing and think there were no consequences.  She was not going to just quit school or do nothing all day.  His reply…I just got an eviction notice I can’t do anything.  I had a few choice words for him then hung up on him.  He’s been such a useless absent father.  Not paying child support, lost his job therefore losing their insurance that we had and hasn’t bothered to find another job to fill in.  Again, victim of his own making.  After talking to him clearly shes nowhere else to go but guy friends, since that’s all she knows, so I tell her sister to tell her to get her ass back home theres no way shes staying with some guy.  She does eventually come back in, sits on my bed sniffling looking at me like she expected me to apologize or something.  Was not happening.  No way in hell.  So she waited a few minutes, got up and left the room.  Not a word from either of us.  She went out and played Farkle with her sister like nothing happened and went on her merry way.  Back to last nights argument.  I havent said or done anything to her since the night before and consequences were coming.  I went into her room about 9:50 last night, she was finally awake after she ignored me with the conference call for her English teacher earlier and ignored a co worker who had went in trying to talk to her earlier in the day.  I grabbed her phone and tablet and told her she was losing all her electronics.  She freaks out and wants her phone to tell somebody good bye.  I refuse.  She gets in my face, I tell her she better back off.  I continue walking to my room from hers and shes following…closely. She wants her phone back.  I go into the bathroom and tell her get out of my room or I’m dropping your phone in the toilet.  Shes still standing there.  I let it slip in my hand a little she jumps back.  I tell her again to get out.  I count to three…she doesnt move I drop the phone.  In the toilet.  I don’t care.  She screams, runs to the toilet and takes the phone out and runs to the kitchen. I follow her in .  Shes cornered between the cabs wall and fridge and refuses to hand over the phone. She refuses repeatedly, then starts threatening me if I dont get out of her way shes going to hit me.  Then she tells Jacob to move me.  Im getting more pissed but keeping my voice neutral and low.  I still have her tablet in my hand and I want the phone and shes screaming threatening me and so I want my hands free.  I put the tablet down on the counter and shatter it with a coffee cup so shes not using that anymore.  Shes pissed for half a second then remembers she still has her phone.  I see it in her face..all of it flashes across and disappears just as quick.  I figure by now the water should have hurt the phone some and if not oh well so I say let’s go play with the PS3.  I walk out of the kitchen and she runs out the front door screaming down the hallway.  It’s about 10 o’clock at this point.  At 2:40am  I get a call from an old resident who says he has her and is bringing her home but wanted to make sure the door wasnt locked.  I told  him it hadn’t been locked since she went out the door screaming earlier in the evening but if she comes back in this house shes losing her phone.  He sees her to the door, and she comes in to my room behind me.  She tosses her phone on the bed and lays down.  I toss the phone on the floor and lay there.  I told her flat out…its 2:40 in the morning.  You got something to say say it, otherwise Im going back to sleep.  I have way too much to deal with then just you.  I have to get up and take your brother to school then your sister and then work all day.  She goes to the bathroom, comes back in and fidgets.  Says, “Mom” twice.  I say, “what.”  If I go back to school do I have to repeat 9th grade?”  “Youre still not really out.  You have another week to get assignments in and credits to be kept.  She says,  “no, if I go back to school.”  I tell her she hasnt even finished the 3 classes shes doing now she has no credits, yes she has to repeat 9th grade.  She waits a minute or two then gets up and goes back to her bedroom. What I know is she has nothing to play on now.

In the midst of all of this my love life is teetering at the moment.  Spent all day in tears yesterday and last night just wasnt great.  He hates it when I get emotional and cry.  It tears at him and I get it.  No man wants to deal with a womans tears.  But understand its natural and what I need to do to process and move beyond the frustration.  I’m not doing it to hurt you or manipulate you.  Im doing it because I need to.Because its how I get passed the issues Im dealing with.  He pushes everything down and ignores it so he can be “happy”  since life is so short.  He thinks I should be able to better control my emotions and not let things affect me so much.  I did that.  Been there..turned out horribly.  Thats how I ended up on meds in the first place.  And going through all of that is where I had to learn to deal with my issues not ignore them.  Once dealt with, done and gone.  It works for me.  He has issues with the ups n downs.  I have issues with the fact that that is who and how I am and he has to learn to accept it or choose to walk away.  I can’t live on this yoyo anymore.  Be with me or don’t, but stop with the ultimatums and constant statements that this is never gonna work in the long run.  If thats how you feel then why are you still here?  We are still learning each other I know.  Not easy or a quick process, but one I want to do with him.

My sons graduation early next month.  I’m nervous about all of that.  A buttload of people in tight quarters for hours on end.  I can do this. For him, I can do this.