Well, after Saturdays all out 5 hour drama with the 11 year old, Sunday ended it for me. I got off at 5. By 5:49 she was downstairs and no longer welcome in my home. I came in from work a few minutes after 5. I told her, “I don’t want to see you or talk to you right now.” Somehow she interpreted that as , “sure come on in and bug me repeatedly”.
Since there is no furniture, per say, the kids are all sleeping on air mattresses. 2 of them needed to be checked for holes. No one bothered while I was at work so I pulled one into my room and started spraying it down. The 11 year old comes in, I ask her to leave. I then get her dad involved since I couldn’t find the hole. Again she walks on into the room like its no problem. Again, I ask her to leave. She leaves in a huff, “I didn’t even say anything” as she’s walking out.
Now there is a woman whom the girls have somewhat adopted as their surrogate mom. He got on the phone with her and told her, better come get her now she’s starting stuff already, at which point the 11 year old starts shouting again, because “he’s lying” Now, at this point, I’ve had enough. They start going at it and I flat out come out of the room and tell him to get her out. I’m done. I’m not risking my job or making my kids or neighbors deal with her anymore. She starts going off and I go over, put both hands around one of her arms and pull her up out of her chair. My intent is to take her to the door and get her outside, but she’s not small and I’m not strong. Needless to say she immediately starts screaming and crying that I’ve hurt her and I put my hands on her and she’s having a cow. Then she goes in to the room from the dining room where she was talking crap and says something about I better never put my hands on her again at which point her dad starts with the “what are you gonna do.”
By now I’m seeing red. Get her out of this house now. I don’t care if you have to physically remove her get her out. She will not live here anymore and if that means all three of you go then so be it but I will not live with her anymore. Now I’m pretty sure I have some of this mixed up since I know I said the last part when she was sitting at the dining room table. But the whole scenario has just been floating in my head the last 2 days.
Her “adopted” mom took her that night. Due to her behavior with another kid at her “adopted” moms she had to have somewhere to go Tuesday morning. I said fine but she’s not staying. During that time her dad made arrangements for her to live with her aunt again. The one who loves the drama and to talk so horribly about him. Not a good idea I’m thinking, but she’s not my child and I refuse to live with her.
We packed her and her belongings in the car and dropped her after work to her aunt.
Step ahead 3 hours….her dads already getting messages from his oldest daughter about all the bullcrap the 11 year old has messaged everyone saying. This continues to the next day. He gets multiple messages and phone calls about the messages she’s sending people about what happened and how we and I treated her. Apparently I called her names, was mean to her and put my hands on her. Of course after hearing all this his 19 year old daughter felt the need to chime in and be the protective sister. So I get a nasty message first thing in the morning that she’s heard all this stuff and I better not do this or that or else.
First of all, your 19 years old. You might want to get all the facts before you go making hollow threats at someone you don’t know. You have no idea what’s been going on or what actually happened. And to just accept everything a troubled 11 year old tells you as fact is a little irresponsible to say the least. Second of all, your response was ridiculous considering I never said you were rude anywhere in any of my replies. Third of all, why would you automatically assume Id never heard of you or not know who you are. You are your fathers child and of course I know about you.
I already feel guilty at this point for kicking the 11 year old out, but then after her crap I felt justified and glad I had. I still feel as if I’m putting him in an awful position, when in reality I think he’s relieved I was the one who made the call instead of him. He was already beyond patience with her.
And later that same night, it was peaceful and quiet and has been since she’s been gone. No worries about what would set her off next or how long before the next tantrum or what kind of attitude will it be tonight. Don’t get me wrong, the other kids are still doing the sibling rivalry and playing and teasing and what not, but its nothing compared to her episodes.
I’m sure people will look at me like I’m some cold hearted bitch and at this point, judge me all you want. You don’t know the details. I don’t need to defend or validate myself to you or anyone else.