Gotta love that question! I am fascinated by sex and pregnancy. With all the people I talk to online I always ask some of those basic questions. Now its become more of a research project of mine. Most men, I have found, lost their virginity very young and with older women. Wether its their moms friend or a neighbor lady or the babysitter….only a few actually had sex for the first time with someone close to their age. Girls on the other hand…most of us tend to stick with guys our ages..when we lose our virginity that is..I havent figured that one out yet..
I was almost almost 16 when I lost my virginity. I was all kinds of sexually active from an earlier age then I should have been, but most of it was touchy feely and poking and prodding. Typical experimentation is what I want to say, but it was all one sided. Me the poked and prodded and being told mums the word. Mostly because it was my stepdads younger brothers and a male cousin. And then there was the time my best young girlfriend was curious. I was young and I dont remember much other then laying in my bed under the sheets with her while she touched me. No actual sex or oral sex. I was so confused about sex when I was a teenager I didnt even know if I was a virgin until I actually lost my virginity. Ouch! I thought oral sex was gross and absolutely refused to do it! So much so that I was out with a boyfriend one night and he wanted oral and I flat out refused. I offered to have sex with him but I was not putting that thing in my mouth! Needless to say…he took me home completely frustrated.
As a parent of 4 children, 2 boys and 2 girls, I try very hard to be very open with them about sex and their bodies and what to expect. Its not always so easy with my teen boys as they really dont want to hear about sex from mom, but at least they hear about it and know to be safe. My girls are very familiar with female anatomy, even if they cant use the words vagina and penis, they know what they are.(They’re 11 and 9) They know what to expect from puberty, from a girls point of view. My 11 year old started her period when she was 10 years old!! Try explaining to a 10 year old what sex is and how it makes babies and how she should be very careful in avoiding those types of situations. She cant stand it when I say penis or vagina, but the fact that she can get pregnant at her age means she needs to know, even if shes not mature enough to handle the words.
Thats another thing…..slang terms for body parts. There are so many…and most of the ones kids tend to learn arent even right. My kids grandma would call their vaginas a too too. And thats what they learned to call it. What is it with parent sugar coating these words? Its physical anatomy. Its not a bad word…penis, vagina, anus…just like your knee or elbow or tongue or breasts. Lord knows they grow up and learn all the slang terms in school…cock, dick, pussy, cunt, tits, boobs, etc….some of them are meant to be entertaining while others are outright vulgar.
What constitutes sex for you? Is it the act of penetration? Or the act of orgasm? Orgasm through penetration? Is oral sex considered sex? Or dry sex, the act of sex with clothes on. I find alot of kids prefer oral sex to avoid std’s and pregnancy these days and still consider themselves virgins since there was no penetration involved. Would you agree? How would you define sex to your kid?
Another question I tend to ask…favorite sexual position. Most guys seem to prefer doggy style while women prefer missionary or on top. Very different scenarios considering men are stimulated by sight as well as touch…funny they prefer to look at the back of your head, your back and your rear end rather then you….while women want to be able to see your face and feel you.
Another thing I have found is that most men fall into either the “tits” or “ass” category. This also seems to dictate the position as “ass” men want to see your ass while “tit” men want to play with your tits.
And what about masturbation? Men have no qualms about admitting they do…daily even..lol…but women…not so free with the info. Why is that?
Enough sex talk for now…